Screwing Libidos

I used to be able to take pride in the fact that I respect other people's lifestyles as long as they don't try to harm mine. But right now I can't say that. It's egocentric, selfish, foolish of me, but right now I'm just furious that people don't see some things my way. I hate myself for saying this, but I can't lie. I have to purge this ugly, true me.

I value virginity because its something you can only give to one person. To me, that person should be your spouse. Your one and only. I feel a gaping hole inside my chest when I see so many giving it away so recklessly, and not caring. How they continue to indulge in an act they substitute for love.

I could never do such a thing... it's probably because I know that if I did, I'd feel like a slut. That if I did, and I wasn't with that person for the rest of my life, I'd regret ever doing it.

And I know hardly anyone would agree with me. That's fine. It hurts me when it comes from those close to me, those I care deeply for.

It's not that I think myself above them, I am just angry at them because I accuse them as weak, when I know that probably had nothing to do with it. I am angry because they did as they pleased, and I cannot do the same. I am angry because they act like adults when their hearts and minds are still like a child's. I am angry because I force myself to act my age.

I am angry because I know I have no right or reason to be angry. I am angry because I know I am not pure, and yet demand others to be pure. I am angry at their hands and for the bodies they have touched, the ones they have yet to touch. I am angry that they know of an art I know nothing of.

I am just angry at everything right now, and not making any sense.